Battleship is easily the best stupid movie I've seen since Armageddon
10/10
Author: Simon O'Neill from Malawi
10 November 2012
*** This review IS a spoiler ***
Battleship is easily the best stupid movie I've seen since Armageddon - it is infinitely better than every Transformers(mwouai pas difficile Transformers est une daube absolue) movie ever regurgitated onto the screen (apart from the Cartoon Transformers one from the 80's).
Battleship it is the romantic story of how a 26 year old former high school jock John Carter, with no qualifications or experience, ends up in charge of a giant battleship because Eric from True Blood is his brother & he runs a battleship.High School Jock John Carter and has to destroy an alien invasion in order to impress Naval Commander Liam Neeson so he can marry his really hot daughter that wore that yellow bikini in Just Go With It - he does this by letting Japanese people do everything for him.
They use a grid showing the surrounding floating Tsunami alert devices (because the aliens disabled the radar you see) to actually play the game 'battleships' and blow up the aliens using complete guess work & then they ask Old retired war veteran people to borrow their museum battleship & help them blow up Hawaii after they broke all their own battleships while playing battleships with the aliens earlier on - and then at the end he takes the credit for it all, gets a medal & goes for a Chicken Burrito with Liam Neeson.
Despite the fact he knows nothing of the man, Liam Neeson agrees to let him marry his really hot daughter as thanks for letting the Japanese & the old people save the world while he stood around and watched.Rhianna is in it too - but don't let that stop you watching the movie as she is like a hot version of Vasquez from Aliens - and to the movies great credit, but also to my great disappointment, at no point does the movie allude to the fact that Rhianna has breasts. Amazing Wonderous Breasts.
Also that freaky little guy from Ghostbusters II that plays the museum director Dr Janosz ("The joyfulness is over!") plays the President of the USA - what's not to like here?
